After skimming through my blogs I've noticed that I haven't clued anyone in on the subject of telling my oldest son that the daddy he knew wasn't his "biological dad".
Danny is very mature and smart for his age. Sometimes I wonder how such a child came out of all the chaos and drama that had been in his life. Thank God for resilience with kids...none of the past had affected Danny at all.
I had been seeing a therapist for quite awhile and started taking the kids to see him too (when Mike R. and I had divorced). I wanted to make sure the well being of my kids wasn't being compromised with everything going on. I had been seeing this therapist since the breakup of Dan and I so he pretty much knew everything going on. He knew that Danny had a "Bio Dad" that he didn't know about.
I confronted the therapist with the thought of telling Danny about his family that he wasn't aware of. I didn't want to have something happen to me and have Danny find out after I'm gone and he's older that he had an entire family (and DAD) that I didn't tell him about. I didn't want many years to go by without telling him and have him miss out on even more than he already had. With the reassurance of the therapist, I knew I had to tell Danny.
I remember being in the car with just him and I one day. It went something like Danny? You know Daddy loves you so very much. "yes Mommy"...after that is kinda a blur. I did tell him however that he had another Dad that loved him so very much and an entire family that he didn't know anything about because he was too young to remember the last time he had seen them. I told him that his Dad and I loved each other very much but couldn't get along so I thought it best for us to be apart. Not surprisingly, Danny took it very well and very much in stride. He of course wanted to know all about Dan and never once called him "daddy". In his mind, he had a daddy but now he also had a "dad". On April 8th, 2011(Dans birthday) I set up Skype and got a hold of Dan telling him everything. Danny wanted to see him and talk to him. He wanted to know who this man who is suddenly his dad was all about. They talked online for quite awhile. Laughing, being silly, and talking about sports and school. It was very obvious to me that Danny was enjoying having Dan in his life and that I had done the right thing. Danny wanted to know about his cousins and his other grandma. I showed him all the pictures that I had saved (it was the only connection I had to Dan and our memories) and told him who everyone was. He talked to Dan online from April until October and it was then that I realized he was ready to meet him in person.
