So, thankfully for a good friend of mine we were able to get into the new house. Finally, a fresh start for my life. I had my best friend living with me and my 2 babies. I didn't need anything else!! Everything went totally great. Got the kids ready for school, Danny continued to communicate back and forth with Dan (have I even mentioned that Danny now knew about Dan being his father?) It's been so long since I've written I don't even remember what I've written about! Anyway, Danny continued to talk to Dan and I decided on October 5th that I would take him to Canada to see him. (Dan now lived 8 hours away but gladly made the 8 hour trip down to Windsor) I thought it best that I go over to spend some time with him alone first so we could talk. Afterall, it had been 4+ years since we had seen each other and I wasn't really all excited to just bring Danny over and say Hi Danny! This is your dad! So, we made arrangements to stay at the Windsor Casino that Wednesday night together. I was soooo nervous but excited at the same time. I had dreamt so many times about this happening. I never in a million years thought it ever would again so imagine the happiness I had (and the hope) when I knew he had finally made it to Windsor. He walked in the room, came over to me and kissed me a very short but (we finally made it back together and nothing will change that) kiss. I KNEW within that second that we had finally made it. Finally, all of those dreams had become a reality...I was like a child at Disneyland...dreams really do come true!
Dan and I had an amazing night that night. We sat and talked, cried, hugged, and cried some more. Come to find out, the dreams I had had in those 4 years were the same ones he had had. He wanted so bad to tell me how he really felt during those years but everytime an email or call was exchanged it had to be 100% about Danny. His g/f had made sure of that! I was so relieved to hear that he felt the same way. That he still loved me and that connection we had felt was still felt by the both of us. Even after 4 years...those feelings never changed.
The next day I went home and he stayed in a hotel in Windsor. On Friday I took Danny over. Danny was so excited he was beside himself. Afterall, he had been such a baby the last time we crossed the Ambassador Bridge! He was amazed at being on top and seeing the water. We made it through customs easily and went across the street to McDonalds where Dan was waiting for us. Danny jumped out of the car and ran right over to Dan. He hugged him so hard that he knocked him backwards and they both started laughing. It brought instant tears to my eyes and still does today just remembering that moment. We spent the weekend there and everything went great. It was like the 4 years never distanced us. When we were together, the only thing that made it a reality was that Danny was older. To Dan and I, it was like those 4 years never even happened. I FINALLY felt the way I had been trying to feel during our absence and there was NO WAY I was ever going to give that up again!!! I couldn't be happier...I finally had the love of my life back...and Danny had his dad!
Things continued to progress but because Dan was 8 hours away, it wasn't easy to just come down on the weekends so he could see us. We made it through the month of November and then it was Christmas. I had alot of debate in my head about Christmas because I felt very torn. I didn't want Mike R. (his "daddy") to miss out on anything but on the other hand, I had Dan and his family that had missed so much already with Danny. I made the decision to have Mike R. here on Christmas morning and after Santas gifts were unwrapped, the kids and I packed up and headed for Windsor. Dan met us there and we drove the 3 1/2 hours to his familys' house. For the first time since our reunion, I felt very anxious, almost sick to my stomach. We drove through his city and SO MANY memories came flooding back. The 7-11 we stopped at together, the drawbridges we sat on the back porch every night and heard moving while letting the boats through. In a really weird way, it felt like "home" to me. One thing for sure though..I'm very glad I was there with Dan. If I hadn't been, and had to be there for another reason, I would've been an emotional mess! It brought tears to my eyes remembering everything we had done together and I thanked God that we would have so many more memories together.
We finally made it to the hall for his familys Christmas Dinner/gift exchange. Dans mom met us outside and gave Danny (and Robby) a really big hug. I glanced at her and could see tears in her eyes. She hugged me too and by the time she was done, Danny was wanting to get in and see his family that he had heard so much about. We entered the hall and Dans mom introduced Danny to everyone. They were all so happy he was there and it was one of the best Christmas' I've ever had. He played with his cousins (there was so many) and had a great time. We stayed at a nearby hotel (I wasn't sure how the feelings were going to be while being there so thought it best to not stay with his family until I was sure I would be comfortable). The next day we went to his sisters house and got to spend the day with the immediate family for dinner. The boys played all day and we were all sad when it came time to leave. The trip home was bittersweet. So many memories up there of Dan and I together...I thanked God once again that we would be together to make more.
