My cousin (as mentioned at the beginning of this) that I was so close to had moved out to California. Things weren't working out so well out there and they ended up not having anywhere to go. So, because we had the relationship we did, I allowed her and her 3 kids (11, 4, and 1) to move in with me, Mike, and the boys. They made an "apartment" in our basement. Her husband wasn't working so therefore their care was pretty much in my hands. I supported them with cigarettes, diapers, food, transportation, EVERYTHING. I fell into a deep depression and pretty much spent alot of time in my bedroom. Things were going downhill with me and Mike because of the serious trust issue and I although I managed to stay in contact with Dan by sending him pictures of Danny, I missed him terribly. I literally dreamt of him a couple times a week. In some dreams it would end with him telling me he was happy and wanted to stay with her. Then, there were others I would have where we would end up together. More than once I actually woke up with a smile only to be hurt when I realized it was a dream.
In October of 08 Mike and I separated but still managed to live together since we thought that was best for the kids. We both started dating other people and for a short while, life was happy again.
I was happy with the person I was dating. It seemed to be exactly what I wanted. It lasted about 4 months and although some things weren't so "great" I overlooked them in hopes that it would just blow over.
"T" and I broke up in March of 09 and Mike and I had done alot of talking. Although he was with his girlfriend, he always confessed his love for me. I decided to call the divorce off that I had filed for the day BEFORE we were scheduled to be in court. I wasn't 100% comfortable with it and felt I needed to give it ONE more try. All that did was prolong the inevitable
At this time, trust was still an issue and a couple of other things happened to make it even worse. Although I was never completely over Dan and in all honesty never gave 100% of myself to Mike. I know it takes two to make a relationship work/fail so I really don't completely blame Mike. He knew my heart wasn't all his and in turn he did some things that I didn't approve of. It was obvious to me that although him and I shared the kids and such a history, we were much better off as friends. My cousin still lived with us and her husband had come to join us at that time. He still wasn't working and all the money for the bills came from me and Mikes unemployment (his office had closed 2 weeks prior to my dads passing). We paid for their Christmas, birthday parties, etc. so of course, there was that added stress. I contacted my attorney and proceeded with the divorce.Because Summer was there and in September my youngest would be starting school, I knew something had to be done to get the chaos of their life and be "settled" when school started. It was then that I decided to move into yet another house forcing my cousin and her family to move out.
