So, good ol' Facebook. I had been looking for my ex boyfriend (Mike P) over the past years mainly because I was really curious as to how his life had turned out. To be honest with you, from what I had heard about his life, I wasn't even sure he was still alive. Around the year 1998 (approx) my mom had ran into him at her workplace. He was a manager at another restaurant and had came to hers for a manager meeting. She told me she seen him and that put him back into my mind. He also had told her that he was getting married so as quick as he entered my mind, he went right to the back of it.
So, fast forward to 2010. May of 2010. I decided to look up his name on Facebook and BAM! There he was...it was really him! I stared at his profile for what seemed like an hour, his name, his picture...I clicked on the message button to send him a message but what was I going to say? Hi! Remember me? I've been stalking you over the years and here I am to "peep" into your life? I was really nervous to send anything but I knew I had to...I had to before the opportunity was gone.
So...I did. It was quick, to the point, and said something like "Hi! Remember me?" I was just looking through and thought I'd look to see if you were on FB and you were! If you'd like to talk and say hello, feel free to write me back. I have to say...I was more excited than nervous to see what would happen. The next day I received a message back from him with his phone number.
Of course I could barely get to my phone without falling out of my chair. I wanted to talk and see how he was doing. On the other hand, I wasn't sure how I would feel hearing his voice again. We had a pretty long term relationship in High School and although he lived in Southgate when we dated, he had previously lived in Taylor and we had mutual friends. In fact, one was still a very dear friend of mine.
I called him and we talked for 3 hours!
After talking for 2 days STRAIGHT (only hanging up to sleep) I couldn't take it anymore. He was divorced, single, and lived in Ohio.Our mutual friend and myself decided to take the trip down there and have dinner with him. The minute I seen him, it was still an instant attraction. We both sat in the back seat of her car and he had his arm around me the whole time. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt SO SECURE sitting with him. How in the HELL could it feel so "familiar" after not seeing/talking to each other for 22 years? After spending a couple of hours together, my friend and I headed back home. Mike P and I talked for the 2 days following that and that weekend he came up here and spent a couple of days together (Memorial Day weekend). It was a great time...just like old times. We spent alone time together, there was a connection. A connection that I hadn't felt before. I felt a connection with Dan, even with Mike R. but this was different. Him and I could sit and talk for hours. We "felt" each other. We "understood" each other. We spent time with my family and it felt great. After the weekend was over he went back to Ohio but we still talked constantly. The following week I was in Ohio picking him up with his stuff and moving him into my house with me.
Yes, you read that right...after approx. a week and a half of talking after 22 years, I moved him into my home with my 2 kids...oh yeah, and Mike R. He was still there for approx. a week (in the basement) while Mike P was upstairs with me. Yes...VERY tense situation. Looking back I know it wasn't the wisest thing for me to do. At the time I thought it was the RIGHT thing to do. Someone I could have a stable relationship with and would be a good role model for my boys.
After a week or so Mike R. moved out and into an apartment while still seeing his girlfriend. He was happy but still came to me letting me know he still loved me. Letting me know that he would love for us to have been able to work it out and be a family. I myself wanted Mike P and me to work out so I kept Mike R. at arms length. After a little while of being together I started to see that he was more "controlling" than I was willing to admit at the beginning. I was (and still am) a control freak. That caused us to butt heads alot. He also was strict with the kids. I needed help with the boys. They were completely out of control and with everything that had been going on, I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Mike P set limits with the kids and helped keep them in line. I welcomed the help at the beginning, then little things started bothering me. The kids didn't want to be around him because they did'nt like having to listen. Mike P also is a big guy and very intimidating. The kids were scared of him and that started to drive a wedge between us. Things started bothering me more and more. I had outside influences in my ear telling me that he was no good for me and the boys. The more I heard from people, the more things bothered me.
January 3rd, 2011 the kids were at my Uncles house for the weekend. I called Mike and told him he had til 5pm the next day to get out of my house. He had nowhere to go. No car. Didn't know anyone here. He eventually found a friend from work to let him stay at his house for a week before finding a room to rent, still in Taylor. I FELT LIKE CRAP!!!
After a couple of weeks him and I started talking. I still loved him so much but I knew we couldn't be together. I couldn't handle the outside influences. I couldn't handle my kids not liking him or wanting to be in their own home. I couldn't handle not being in control of everything aspect of life. I couldn't handle having someone, a partner, that stood up to me and demanded respect. I wasn't sure how to handle any of that.
We stayed in contact. To say I was STRESSED is to say the least. I had to sneak around to see him (yes, I was 38 years old). I wanted to help him out with what he needed but I couldn't let anyone know I was doing it. I couldn't let people know I was still associating with him.
That went on for a couple of months until finally, sometime in June, I couldn't do it anymore. I told him I couldn't help him out or be there for him anymore. He moved back to Ohio and we lost contact. I missed him terribly. Thought about him constantly. Mike R. had moved back in and I once again, was trying to make it work with him. The past repeated itself with Mike R and myself and we ended it again. In August I took myself, my 2 boys, and my best friend Tony and moved into a new house.
